Fantastic Four – Richards Reckons Review

The Fantastic Four. They were Marvel Comics’ premiere superteam – a mish-mash of powered peeps all coming together as a collective to bust crime and fight evil, all the while giving themselves a rather arrogant title (“Fantastic Four”? Why not hedge your bets and call yourself the Qualifiable Quartet and just wait for other people to deem you fantastic?). The foursome, who comprise of Reed Richards aka Mr Fantastic (Señor Stretchy), Sue Storm aka Invisible Woman (Seethrough Sue), Johnny Storm aka The Human Torch (Sizzle Supreme) and Ben Grimm aka The Thing (Sedimentary Sasquatch – see, I could totally rename all of them with some assonance to boot), are no strangers to the big screen and this is third iteration in total, making them close to Spider-Man in the reboot wars. Their rights belong to Fox, who now want to make them fit in with their X-Men universe for some future crossover glory further down the line, so it’s important to note that this ISN’T anything to do with the Avengers and co despite what the Marvel logo may make you think.

This time it’s directed by Josh Trank, who played cleverly with the superhero concept as a whole in his 2012 debut Chronicle. It stars a cast of Hollywood’s young rising stars in the form of Miles Teller (Reed Richards), Kate Mara (The invisible Woman), Michael B. Jordan (The Human Torch) and Jamie Bell (The Thing). It’s from the producers of X-Men: Days of Future Past and even Matthew Vaughn, director of Kingsmen: The Secret Service. Everything is in place for this film to be a cracker – a stalwart tentpole movie of the modern superhero genre.

Alas, it’s not. It’s a befuddled, stumbling mess.

The issues mainly lie with its absolutely staggeringly ill-considered approach to tone and pacing. The studio has obviously seen the light-hearted approach that Marvel Studios takes to its movies and the conversely dark/gritty approach that DC hope to have with theirs and tries to be both at the same time; with sequences that have the odd quip or two which fall on their respective bottoms or heavy-handed attempts at pathos which never really go anywhere or mean anything. It goes between these two gears like a pair of sugared-up children on a see-saw. As for the pacing, the film doesn’t know where to spend its minutes wisely. There are random and ill-judged time-jumps; characters disappear for scenes at a time (forgetting the nature of an ENSEMBLE movie); their evolution into working together and becoming a team is rushed through an incredibly underwhelming climax.

As for the story, parts of it are genuinely laughable – and not intentionally. The reason for the crew going on their doomed space journey in the first place is quite frankly ridiculous (especially the way that Ben gets involved too). You may think that a film that includes a man that can stretch like his last name was Armstrong is a strange place to complain about ridiculousness but in story terms it just bypasses any natural logic.

The actors really do try their best with the material that they’re given but are constantly shortchanged – the person who suffers most is Toby Kebbell and his character Victor Von Doom. In the comics, Doom is one of the most powerful and villainous baddies out there – here he is simply a “wake up sheeple!!!!11!!!11!”-style conspiracy theorist who has a little accident in space and turns into a bog standard deranged baddie with a completely illogical (as well as unexplained) plan and the appearance of an action figure dipped in silver nail polish and coloured in with splashes of a mint gel pen.

Overall, this reboot is a bland and uneventful experience that reeks of studio interference, something evidenced by the erratic marketing (the irritatingly obvious fact Fox paid popular Twitter accounts to tweet about it as well as the confusion of tone between trailers aren’t exactly good indicators here). There are positives here as the performers put in their all and the effects for the most part are pretty good (the use of mixing their powers in the end could be a lot worse), but mostly this film tries to be every kind of superhero movie and fails at being any at all.

<insert your own pun/joke about it being called Fantastic and it not being so Fantastic at all here>

Ant-Man – Richards Reckons Review

 
Ridiculous. 
Unrealistic. 
Tiny.

No, this isn’t a list of things that my sexual partners have said to me at some point or another, but some of the buzzwords that Ant-Man has had slapped onto it like the cinematic version of something in a reduced section of a supermarket. “A man who can turn into an ant?!” the befuddled ask, well, befuddledly. When they are corrected and told that actually the suit allows the wearer to shrink in size and grow in strength while giving them the ability to talk to ants, that makes it worse. “That’s completely stupid! Why should I waste my hard earned dosh on that?! I could buy at least 3 limited edition Des Lynam coasters with that money!”

Peyton Reed picks up the somewhat troubled reigns from Edgar Wright to direct this adaptation that’s been in the works for ants years (assuming they’re very long). The plot concerns Michael Douglas’ Hank Pym, an aging scientist who discovered “Pym Particles” (the wonderstuff that makes organic matter able to shrink) back in the day and used them to fight bad guys before retiring and creating his own company Pym Technologies. Cut to the present and his former protege Darren across (an un-wigged Corey Stoll) has taken over and is planning to weaponise the technology, so Pym and his daughter Hope (an off-island Evangeline Lily) seek to shut him down – and who else better to put in the admittedly dangerous Ant-Man suit than recently released cat burglar Scott Lang (an un-newsreader Paul Rudd). Heists and height-based hijinks ensue aplenty. 

Marvel are well aware of the tall tale they’re telling here, and get the self-deprecation out of the way pretty early on to focus on the fun and actually quite “badass” (I hear the kids say this word so I thought I’d give it a whirl) facets of the character. If they’d have attempted a dark, Nolanesque take on Ant-Man that obviously would not have worked so the trademark “Marvel is fun” approach is in full effect – naysayers and defectors will no doubt complain and use the word “samey”, but actually it is a great fit for this character. The point of view of the world being suddenly magnified is used for some fantastic physical comedy and some of the most inventive and best looking set pieces that Marvel has ever put out. The regular “MCU third acts all being the same” could not be more wrong here (you’ll also never see keyrings quite in the same light). 

The cast here are firing on all cylinders; Paul Rudd is a charming addition to the ever-increasing roster and is distinctive enough to not feel like a snarky Tony Stark/Star-Lord rip off, which in other hands he could’ve been. Evangeline Lily isn’t physically given a lot to do but emotionally has got a lot of manoeuvring and does it very well; the pair of them have great chemistry with Michael Douglas as a threesome (not like that, come on, grow up). I feel some are being harsh on Stoll who brings vim and vigour to the megalomaniacal Marvel villain role. It could be argued however that Michael Pena steals the show here with his endlessly optimistic criminal Luis – he has a couple of chances to reel off some brilliantly complex Edgar Wright flavoured dialogue. 

Ant-Man isn’t a perfect movie, with some pacing and continuity errors (including one so obvious I can’t believe it was allowed), but on the whole this has everything you could possibly want in a movie experience, with great characters, some awesomely inventive setpieces (Thanos the Titan? More like THOMAS) and a script that crackles with comedy (thanks to a strange Paul Rudd + Adam McKay/Edgar Wright + Joe Cornish hybrid that works better on paper than you think it might). There are connections to the further MCU that feel developed and comic-like rather than screaming “CASH IN” (the crossover with another Avenger being a particular highlight), but Ant-Man works extremely well as a standalone superhero/heist movie, so don’t worry about not having an encyclopaedic knowledge on the Avengers and co. While Wright would’ve made a film that was a tad more zippy and frantic, Reed has done a great job with the troubled production and lack of fan enthusiasm he was given. In the mean time, just sit back, relax, try to forget about all the ants you’ve ever massacred in your life and prepare to feel small (in the best way possible). 

Big Hero 6, Inherent Vice & Trash – Richards Reckons Reviews

An inflatable personal healthcare assistant, a near-permanently stoned private detective and three young Brazilian boys are all in cinemas this week. What a crazy world it is beyond that big silver window.

Let’s start with Big Hero 6.

Big Hero 6 is the latest fruit to blossom from the acquisition of Marvel properties by the big dogs at Disney (they’re not literally dogs. Well, I don’t think so anyway – that said I’ve never seen them and dogs in the same room at the same time…). Based on a Marvel comic book series (but NOT part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe), Big Hero 6 follows a young man from San Fransokyo called Hiro (Ryan Potter), a gifted child prodigy who graduated high school at 13. Since then, he’s been making money illegal bot fighting in the backstreets. His brother Tadashi (Daniel Henney) introduces him to his university robotics lab, as well as his friends Wasabi (Damon Wayans Jnr), Fred (TJ Miller), GoGo (Jamie Chung) and Honey Lemon (Genesis Rodriguez). He also introduces him to his invention; a personal healthcare companion designated to helping and healing people named Baymax (Scott Adsit). After Hiro witnesses his microbot inventions being used for evil after he thought he lost them forever, he and Baymax assemble a team together (as well as creating several “upgrades” along the way) to try to get them back.

Big Hero 6 is the latest movie from Disney and the successor to the insanely popular (and in my opinion massively overrated but that’s just me) Frozen, so it has big ol’ chilly boots to fill. And, in my opinion, it’s an absolutely resounding success in doing so. When I saw Big Hero 6 for the second time, I decided to buy a little cup with Baymax on the top of it. When strolling back home afterwards, kids would point at it and identified who it was right away, asking their guardians to get their own bits of merchandise. This is after the movie had been out for LESS THAN A WEEK. Mark my words, Baymax and co. will be everywhere soon, and for good reason.

Firstly, the colourful characters are all wonderful – each of them have their own distinct personality traits that makes them all gel together nicely as well as differ enough to become instantly recognisable. Each member of the Big Hero 6 team is loveable and fun in their own way, from catchphrases (GoGo’s “woman up!” spin on the classic phrase is particularly fantastic) to later powers. But special kudos goes to Hiro and Baymax for being such a great team – and despite the fact that one of them is a robot, they both have real growth and real character arcs.

In fact, in some respects that I obviously cannot go into, the film itself can actually be heartbreaking. Especially towards its climax, where it contains some of the most touching moments I’ve seen for a long time in animation. Any film that can conjure up these emotions in a 23 year old man (even if I am a bit of a softie) deserves emotional plaudits really. But don’t be fooled by that; the script is bubbling over with witty dialogue and jokes, as well as brilliantly timed physical comedy (the sight of Baymax walking in his armour is among the most hilarious in the film itself).

I mean, sure, the plot is contrived within an inch of its life, has twists which are pretty easily foreseeable and it doesn’t seem original – but it’s such a touching, dynamically told version of a super-heroic team up narrative that you just don’t mind that. Tears will be shed in the cinema, both from laughing and crying, but it’s such a fun adventure to go on that it’s well worth your eyes leaking. Directors Don Hall and Chris Williams have done a fantastic job here in crafting such a lovely movie that’s fun and dazzling along the way. A truly enjoyable experience.

Also I really want to visit San Fransokyo. It looks amazing.

Onto Inherent Vice.

Right, where do I start with THIS plot summary. Bear with me here. So, Inherent Vice follows Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), a private detective living in Los Angeles in 1970 who also happens to be a near permanently stoned hippie. One day, he is visited by his rather floaty ex-girlfriend Shasta (Katherine Waterston). She explains that she has a new lover by the name of Mickey Wolfman (Eric Roberts) and how his wife supposedly has a plot to get him abducted and committed to an asylum. He also seems to be hired by a character played by Michael K. Williams to find somebody he was in prison with. And then also by an ex-heroin addict played by Jena Malone to find her husband who she fears is dead (played by Owen Wilson). Oh and also Josh Brolin is in there as his supposed nemesis. And Benicio Del Toro appears as… I’m not even sure. And Reese Witherspoon is a deputy DA who is having an affair with Doc who appears in the film in about two scenes. There’s also some dentists and a gang called the “Golden Fang”.

So, yes, as you can tell from that, the plot of Inherent Vice isn’t really there – it just trundles and wanders through its own chaotic narrative much like Doc wanders through everything. The narrative is like smoke – thick, marijuana-tinged smoke which is disorientating and delirious. All of this sounds like a good description of a thrilling, hallucinogenic cinema ride, but it isn’t.

It’s incredibly annoying and tedious.

From reading reviews by critics that I for the most part normally agree with, I thought I was in the wrong here somehow (well, as far as having your own opinion CAN be wrong). But it’s not just me; audiences all over the country have apparently been walking out of the movie before it’s finished – a phenomena that, especially in the economic climate with cinema prices the way they are, just doesn’t happen very often anymore. Walking out partway through a film is not something that I personally agree with but I can totally see why they did it too – there’s no sense of resolve or continuity to the film whatsoever, and that’s what is so frustrating about it. The characters mumble their dialogue at an irritatingly slow pace, making pointless scenes feel like they drag on even longer. Paul Thomas Anderson feels like he is trying to create a sort of psuedo-comedic, bohemian stoner thriller but it moves at such a slow pace and is so frankly badly told that it sets the audience against it after a while and wears them down, down, deeper and down until they want it to end. Or so it seems, anyway.

There are a couple of good sequences in here, and Joaquin Phoenix plays the role of Doc very well with a very dazed touch with a surprising amount of physical comedy, but overall for me Inherent Vice felt like an aesthetically pretty but far too long, drawn out, and pretentious mess which is far from a joy to watch. There are a range of characters played by a range of different and talented actors but too many of them feel one-note and dropped in purely for the sake of being convoluted. There’s an interesting critic/audience divide here it seems (with some very condescending, “aw-bless-you-don’t-like-it-because-you-don’t-understand-it” reactions from the former to the latter), but on this one I side with the audience.

Now onto Trash.

Trash is the tale written by Richard Curtis of three Brazilian street kids named Raphael, Gardo and Rato (Rickson Tevez, Eduardo Luis and Gabriel Weinstein). They sort through heaps of rubbish every day in order to find anything valuable to help them out. One day, they find a wallet which apparently contains more than they bargained for – setting them on a collision course conspiracy against the corrupt Rio de Janeiro police force and political powers. They’re helped on their quest for the truth by aid workers Father Juliard (Martin Sheen) and Sister Olivia (Rooney Mara – no, this character has NO dragon tattoo). But can they escape the brutal police force and get justice before they get caught?

Trash is mostly in Portuguese, with English only appearing occasionally almost as a courtesy – I’m glad that it is mostly in Portuguese as it adds to the authenticity of the film. It’s one of those films where it’s so well established and so well performed by the young cast that you feel like you’re there with them – director Stephen Daltrey makes an amazing job of transferring you to the action alongside these three young boys, making you root for them even harder. It may be marketed like Slumdog Millionaire but this is a much grittier affair, with a real sense of mortal danger for these kids no matter where they go.

The three central performances are fantastic and really do steal the show away from Rooney Mara and Martin Sheen. The only weakness in the film’s bow is its somewhat strange ending which doesn’t quite tie everything up as well as it could do. However, the ride to get there is dark yet strangely exhilarating, especially in some of its on-foot chase segments from the big bad policemen through favelas and train stations. An exciting and aspirational story of escaping the gutter and taking on oppression and corruption.

Guardians of the Galaxy – Richards Reckons Review

OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA

There’s no doubt that this was Marvel’s riskiest venture yet. A big budget filmed based on a relatively unknown comic book series filled with relatively unknown characters and relatively unknown locations? IN THIS DAY AND AGE? ARE YOU INSANE? THAT’S ALMOST AN ORIGINAL IDEA! When those characters are almost all rogues in some way, and with one a raccoon and one a tree, there was plenty of insanity and uncertainty at the heart of this project.

Guardians of the Galaxy tells the tale of Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), a kid of the 80’s who gets abducted by a spaceship (I now cannot type or say the word spaceship without thinking of Benny from The Lego Movie) after his mother tragically dies of cancer. Over 20 years later, he steals a precious orb Indiana-Jones-style from an abandoned planet, without realising quite how powerful it is and who is after it (namely Ronan The Accuser, a Kree terrorist, played by Lee Pace). Through circumstance, he is thrown together and forced to join forces with a rag-tag group of upstarts; including Gamora (Zoe Saldana, making the leap from blue skin to green), an assassin desperate to rectify her ways; Drax “The Destroyer (Dave Batista), a thug fuelled by vengeance and a very literal understanding of metaphors; Rocket (Bradley Cooper. Yes, really), a genetically engineered, fast-talking raccoon creature with a love of firearms, and Groot (Vin Diesel), a sensitive, sentient tree creature with a restricted vocabulary.

As I previously mentioned, this project inherently has risk at its heart. Risk normally has two outcomes, either resounding success or crashing and burning, Busted style. And what is obvious from very early on with Guardians is that it is most definitely the first one.

First things first (I’m the realist), this movie looks phenomenal. Every single frame looks like it has been rendered and pored over with precision and artistic flair, especially with the varying locations – from the shady, steampunk markets of Knowhere (a floating head of a dead celestial, fact fans) to the shiny, modern utopia of Xandar (home of space policemen the Nova Corps; once again, for those fact fans). The galaxy itself looks beautiful, and the different spaceships (oop, there’s Benny again) have enough character to them that you can tell the difference. This movie also involves a lot of motion capture and digital effects for obvious reasons (a real life talking tree wasn’t available at time of shooting), and it doesn’t look cartoonish at any point; you can count the individual hairs and whiskers on Rocket’s face (not literally, nobody has that amount of time, not even me) and can get a real sense of the emotion he’s feeling at any given point (mostly rage). The special effects too look fantastic in every setpiece – the combination of practical and digital effect really does make a lot of difference and a great sheen. The five hours of makeup that Dave Batista, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Karen Gillan and Lee Pace had to endure every day of shooting pays off in dividends – the practical application of makeup rather than the use of CGI makes their appearances more authentic and believable.

The Guardians did not have the freedom the Avengers had to have their own individual movies for us to get to know them all before banding together, so there was an additional challenge here to not only to try and give an equal amount of screen time to each hero, but also introduce them all in an effective way and, actually, the film succeeds in this department. All the Guardians are given three dimensions, and none of them are a caricature simply of their appearance – we for the most part discover their motivations and their character, and it never seems to be crowbarred in in a deliberately expositional way either.

In fact, at times, when it needs to be, Guardians can actually be quite poignant – from its heartbreaking pre-title sequence, you would never think that it becomes the hilarious movie it is. It storms through the six laugh test more easily than many comedy films do; with wordplay and physical comedy everywhere to be found. Its writing is slick and the conversing/sparring between the group really lead to some great lines, with the surprise comedic gem being Drax – lines such as “don’t ever call me a thesaurus” and “I am NOT a princess” are delivered with a brilliant sense of comedic timing and will stick around in pop culture for a long time to come.

Yes, there are very minor plot holes, and the villains are once again not as memorable as the heroes (that said, they do the best with what they’re given), but it’s such an exhilarating and fun ride you just don’t care about those kinds of things. The soundtrack too is fantastic – from the “Awesome Mix Vol. 1” cassette tape of 70s and 80s earworms to the synth/orchestral hybrids that almost commentate on the action. Every actor in this is firing on all cylinders without it seeing campy; Chris Pratt is especially charismatic and remains a magnetic screen presence, while Zoe Saldana provides a great conflicted performance in the form of Gamora. Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel put everything into their voice performances and help to really animate (no pun intended. Ah who am I kidding, of course it was) their characters, who are destined to be fan favourites; but it’s Dave Batista here who is the real surprise, with his comic timing and depth into a truly troubled character.

The Guardians are destined to be remembered for a long time as icons of popular culture. For me, it encapsulates part of why I love cinema; pure, ridiculous, escapism. I’m looking forward to seeing it mould with the other Marvel films later on, but in the mean time, make no mistake – Marvel is still the supremo when it comes to summer blockbusters.

Marvel Super Heroes 4D Experience (Richards Reckons Review)

Without this sounding too much like a diary entry (trust me, I’ll spare you the emotional and existential laments of my diary entries; that and I want to save SOMETHING for my inevitable autobiography), today I went to Madame Tussaud’s in London. Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to review the whole place itself as I’m sure you all know it’s a cracker of an attraction in which you walk around looking at expertly-rendered waxworks of famous people, from the good (Helen Mirren), the bad (Hitler shows up, that rotter) AND the ugly (I’ll use this as another opportunity to attack Hitler – seriously, screw the guy).

I hadn’t been in years, and so it was to my sheer joy that at the end of the place they have a whole section dedicated to Marvel superheroes. As you’d expect, there were waxworks of Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man and even Hawkeye, but I noticed that we were looking at these waxy heroes while in a queue for something else – it is of course the British way to be near perpetually in a queue for something, whether consciously or unconsciously. It was then I noticed (honestly, I should be at Scotland Yard with this skill set) a clock counting down to the “Marvel Super Heroes 4D Experience”.

This intrigued me, as any counting down clock does. I wanted to know what on earth this experience was, and how it penetrated the 4th dimension. So I diligently waited in line, holding in my pent up aggression at people pushing in (I probably have a stomach ulcer) like a good reserved Englishman. At around the 5 minute mark, a man in a white coat appeared, asking with a microphone if we were all having a good time, much like an eMC at a Dee-Jay set (yep, I’m still young, you better believe it), and proceeded to waste the next few minute by going through every single country he could possibly think of and asking if there was anybody from there about. He was probably one away from Trinidad & Tobago before he announced we could go into the next room.

Within the 10-15 minutes I was in that next room, I had an absolute blast.

It was an auditorium with screens the whole way around the circular roof, with a main screen at the front (rather sensibly, for everybody’s neck’s sakes). We took our seats and the lights went down, and there on the screen to greet us were Spider-Man and a very The-Incredibles flavoured Captain America, who had just arrived outside Buckingham Palace. The first thing you notice is your seat rumbling as Cap drives his bike to the gates. It’s much like the sensation you get when you play on a games console with Dualshock enabled – it’s a nice, more immersive touch. What follows is a very cheesy but extremely loveable series of events which involves Dr Doom attacking London with giant robots, and various Marvel heroes (pleasingly including Ms Marvel) defending the capital and the very building you’re in from Doombots. The sequences are pretty cool on their own, but they’re combined with a cocktail of physical effects that are with you inside the theatre that makes it that much more grin inducing. Well, that’s if you’re like me (read: an idiot), and you can get a kick out of feeling a blast of air on your neck every time Iron Man fires his repulsers, or a poke in the back (easy tiger) every time Wolverine gets his claws out for the lads.

The more cynical (or, rather, “un-fun”) of you will not particularly enjoy this attraction as much if at all due to it’s cheesy and cartoony nature (there’s a cringe inducing part at the end where they say that “[the audience] are the real heroes” despite the fact we didn’t do anything. It’s such a Cap thing to say…), but if you go with it then it’s a hell of a fun ride. Come and watch it while you can!